It’s easy to get caught in a vortex of scheduling kids’ activities, whether it’s too many soccer practices, dance lessons, karate classes or visits to the museum. If you’ve discovered that — like potato chips — you’re unable to enjoy just one activity at a time, you may want to find a balance between what your kids are learning and downtime. Often, what they (and you) learn in time away from an activity can be just as fulfilling as structured activities. Think about these eight things when the whole family is feeling a little over scheduled:
Find the Right Activity
You’ve heard the mantra: If you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life. The same goes for children’s activities. If they love what they’re doing, they’ll learn and improve with minimal complaint. Seek activities that excite them, and then check in occasionally to make sure they’re still having fun.
Connect in Downtime
Kids often crave dedicated moments together with parents. For some kids, this can mean reading together; for others, it might be gaming or coloring. The downtime serves a dual purpose: It gives your child’s brain a needed rest, and these meditative and relaxing moments open the door to conversation. Encourage them to share notes about their day or issues that might have created new questions in their mind. It’s a great opportunity to reconnect and see how they currently feel about the activities they’re doing.
Learn to Breathe
Helping young children learn to relax and control their emotions is a key step before they hit those volatile preteen years. If they can learn to calm themselves in stressful situations, it gives them a leg up when life seems to go sideways. Practice simple techniques like closing eyes, focusing on a favorite place and taking a deep breath in for the count of four. Then, release the breath for another count of four and repeat several times. When children learn to self-calm when stress is minimal, they will have the techniques in place for those bigger moments when they feel out of control.
Start Making Sense(s)
Just as breathing can help to control emotions, focusing on all five senses can help children be more aware of what they’re feeling. Ask your child to take a deep breath to help them focus, then try to notice something with each of their senses. Older children can dig a little deeper to discover two or three things they notice. If they’re having trouble, encourage younger children to close their eyes so other senses can focus more acutely.
Taste the Moment
When rushing from one activity to another, families often find that meals are simply a means of fuel rather than a moment of enjoyment. Learning to savor food is a learned skill, so make mealtimes important by taking a moment to appreciate the different flavors in food. When my children would gobble their meals within minutes, my husband would encourage them to “take small bites and enjoy it,” a mantra that we repeat in our household whenever something is especially delicious. Small bites are healthier and safer, but also create an opportunity to discover different flavors and layers within a meal. It allows children to appreciate subtleties like citrus or pepper within a bite.
You’re It
For some children, quiet time is not an option. They just need to release a little steam, and a quick game of tag may be the perfect antidote. When we need to release that energy, our entire family, including the dog, participates in a quick game of indoor tag. We burn that excess stress and often end in fits of laughter on the floor. Alternatively, running a lap around the block, hosting a five-minute dance party or playing “The Sidewalk is Lava” will similarly be effective, as the quick energy releases endorphins that eat away stress.
Time to Get Messy
Kids need time for unstructured play, and that often means making a mess. From crafts to LEGO, or kitchen ingredients to sticks in the yard, anything that allows your child free rein on creativity will help their brain relax and reset from structured time. Unstructured play lets children problem-solve and use their imagination without the constraints of scheduled activities.
Laugh!
Sometimes, finding the humor in life can be the best lesson of all, especially when stress creeps in. If children seem overwhelmed by learning activities, it’s the perfect time for some belly laughs, whether a tickle fight or watching a silly video.
While scheduled activities are important for growth and learning, unstructured moments can be just as valuable for everyone’s sanity. Finding a balance between the two can strengthen the bonds of the entire family as you plan your child’s days.
