A few years ago, the title of this article would have caused many sleepless nights while I pondered all I needed to teach my teen before she left our home and ventured out into the world on her own. What did she know? What haven’t I taught her? Time seemed to be slipping through my fingers.
Yes, your teenager may leave your home. But the reality is, you never stop being their parent. They never stop needing you or asking you questions. The needs and the questions might change as the years go on, but they will still come to you and you can still help — even if you are miles away.
You don’t have to come up with every little thing they ever need to know about life before they pack up their belongings and head out the door. You don’t have to try to equip them for every life situation. It’s good to try, but the reality is that some things are bound to happen, and your response will more than likely be, “Wow, I never saw that one coming.”
With that said, here are some life skills that I believe are good to teach your teen before they leave home.
Money Doesn’t Grow on Trees
My college student has had to learn this the hard way. We thought we had taught her a little something about money, but it’s amazing what freedom and a nearby Raising Cane’s restaurant can do to a college student’s bank account.
How will we better prepare her siblings? For starters, talk more about budgeting, and even have them practice living on a budget before they head out the door. They will break down what they are going to college with, and if they don’t want to get a job, what that means for weekly spending.
Each of our kids knows what we will be providing, and what they will be responsible for. When that well runs dry, it’s up to them to get a job. Be sure you have candid conversations about money and set clear expectations.
Laundry Dos and Don’ts
When your child goes off to college, they will be the sole washer and dryer of their clothes. They might know how to do laundry, but do they know things like: If you leave clothes in the washer for too long, they will start to mildew and stink? Or if they leave clothes in the dryer for too long in a public laundromat, someone might like those Lululemon shorts enough to make them their own? Or that bed sheets do actually require washing? This may have been one fun fact I forgot to mention to my daughter. Thankfully, she had already figured it out on her own. Whew!
Roommate Etiquette 101
Before they head out the door, encourage your teen to have conversations with their roommate about expectations. Do they like their room to be tidy or are they OK with a little mess? What about dirty dishes? Is it important that the bed is made? What about the night-time routine? Or guests staying overnight?
The more communication that is done on the front-end, the better. They can also have a notebook where they communicate things with each other that may be harder to speak out loud, especially if your child is non-confrontational. Have them try to come up with how they will deal with conflict before the conflict arises.
Remind your child of the importance of being aware of the needs of others, and also not being afraid to speak up for their needs, too. Learning how to live with non-family members for the first time can be a big deal, and is definitely worth considering, and talking about, before they head out the door.
I could go on and on and on, but the reality is: You’ve got this, and so does your teen. The most beautiful thing is, you have each other. And whether they live at home or across the country, you are only a phone call away.
