Crust (noun) – Definition- “The despicable border that encircles and suffocates an otherwise perfectly normal piece of bread.”

How is there such a universal child rage of something so harmless?

How did a simple crust become something so vile that even a sandwich maker saw the need to make an Uncrustable sandwich?


My kids hate it. The way they peel it off their ham sandwiches with the care of someone working with radioactive waste. The disgust they have for crust ranks right up there with the way people act towards murderers and child abductors.

 I’ve even gone so far as to remove the crust from my kids sandwiches. Yes, I’ve been THAT parent. You know what my kids did? They STILL left behind the edges of bread right next to where the crust would’ve been! It was unbelievable.

We’ve made some progress though as they will now at least eat pizza crust because we told them it’s the same thing as a breadstick.


A child’s hatred of crust will forever remain one of life’s unsolved mysteries…


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