Henry woke up the other day with a FREAKY rash.
I’m not going to go into great detail about the rash. There will be no pictures of the rash.
This story is not about the rash.
In order to determine the cause of the rash our doctor wanted a urine sample. This is not about the urine sample, but the method of obtaining the urine…the pee bag.
Henry is two. He is not potty trained. I never thought about getting a urine sample from a non-potty trained kid before. Have you? I have no idea how this would work for girls, nor do I want to know, but for boys it involves a pee bag. A pee bag is a little contraption that consists of a plastic bag with a hole in it and adhesive around the hole that sticks to skin. Simple enough right? Well 72 hours, 6 pee bags and seven drops of pee later, I can say first hand that no it is not simple, not simple at all.
Here is a brief rundown of the weekend events.
Bag 1: Bag one was put on by the nurse at the Pediatricians office. She put the bag on with the same force you use to put your license place sticker on your car. That sucker was on there tight. In hindsight I think she also put his berries along with his twig in the bag but I’m not certain. By the time we got to the lab there was supposed to be pee in the bag, but there wasn’t. It then became my job to take off the bag. That was the moment Henry learned he did NOT like “the bag.” Somehow we both survived the removal of the bag. The lab sent us home with several more pee bags and assurance that it would be a piece of cake to get a sample.
Bag 2. I completely tore the pee bag into pieces trying to open the package.
Bag 3. I put this one on him upside down. This bag came off during his sleep, and everything emptied out of it into his diaper.
Bag 4. By this time Henry knew what was coming when he saw the bag. In his sweetest, most concerned voice he would run around the house saying, “I don’t want you to put a bag on my peeenuusss!” I truly did feel bad for him. I kind of felt like I was suffocating it or something. Maybe the pee hole is really a breathe hole too?!?
So we decided that instead of bag number four we would try the potty. After over an hour or pleading, forcing liquids, bribing with M and M’s and straight cash, we gave up on the potty.
I was starting to think this may never happen.
Could we just wring out a diaper into the pee cup? What if we stuff his diaper with cotton or paper towels and wring them out? Would these things actually work or would some additive or something invalidate the test and put us right back where we started? I was unsure what to do, but really just wanted to get this over with.
Back to bag number four.
Instead of nap time I thought maybe he could wear it while he was playing and we would take it off before his nap. Somehow it came unattached from him during the morning and was left empty as he played and filled up his diaper.
Although this time I noticed something I hadn’t before, inside the pee bag there is a tiny sponge type of ring around the hole. If I used every bit of strength I could manage, I was able to get about two to three drops of urine out of the bag and into the cup! Success!
Bags 5 and 6. For the next several hours I use the same approach, leaving it on him as long as possible, removing an empty pee bag from a full diaper, and wringing it out with all my might for a couple of drip, drip, drips.
Long term psychological scarring aside, the pee was captured and sent to the Ped’s office.
Verdict- Test, negative. Rash origin still unknown!