Take this short quiz and try to figure out if the scenarios mentioned, happened to my puppy or one to of my kids, when he/she was a toddler. After the completion of this quiz, you will have a better understanding of what day-to-day life is like at my house.
1. Was it my puppy or my toddler that threw up on a road trip?
a. puppy
b. toddler
c. all of the above.
The correct answer is C. Most recently our puppy left a tidy little pile of vomit in her puppy crate on her first long car trip ever. And, a few years before that, on a trip to grandma’s our daughter had an epic projectile vomiting session all over the back seat.
2. Was it my puppy or my toddler that has previously eaten poop?
a. puppy
b. toddler
c. all of the above
The correct answer is C. While it may be no surprise that my puppy has eaten the feces of geese, cats, other dogs and likely her own, you may be surprised to learn one of my kids has eaten it as well. A few years back my kids were playing with a friend’s daughter. She was going through a phase of taking off her own diapers and flinging them (and their contents) across the room. I wasn’t paying attention to what the kids were doing for a few minutes and next thing I knew, it looked like my kid had just eaten a plate full of brownies. That was not a good day.
3. Was it my puppy or my toddler that regularly peed outdoors?
a. puppy
b. toddler
c. all of the above
The correct answer is C. Are you seeing a pattern here yet? While our puppy only pees outside about 50% of the time, with the other 50% being indoor accidents, if we’re in our backyard swimming, my daughter, “goes behind the bushes” 100% of the time. Better than in the pool, I guess.
4. Was it my puppy or my toddler that ate food out of the trash can?
a. puppy
b. toddler
c. all of the above
Again, the correct answer is C. Once or twice, the puppy snagged a piece of trash from the trash can and dragged it around the house, chewing on whatever food scrap or Kleenex she rescued. Also, my son, was once found elbows deep in our kitchen trash can, enjoying the remains of his big sister’s peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I guess that’s one way to find out your kid isn’t allergic to peanut butter.
5. Was it my puppy or my toddler that slept at least one night in my bed?
a. puppy
b. toddler
c. all of the above
Until recently, I would’ve said the answer was B, but come to find out the answer is actually C. While our kids have all slept in our bed, I didn’t find out the puppy slept there until I got back from a trip out of town. I asked my wife why she let the puppy sleep on my side of the bed, she said that wasn’t where just one puppy slept, it was where both our dogs slept. Good grief.
6. Was it my puppy or my toddler that attended school?
a. puppy
b. toddler
c. all of the above
You guessed it, the correct answer is C. Our toddlers have always managed at least one day of preschool, and without fail, no matter how bad their behavior was at home, every preschool teacher said they were perfect while at school. Puppy class is part of our routine as well. We spend an hour each week watching our puppy act like an angel for her dog trainer, then go right back into “devil dog” mode when she gets home.
7. Was it my puppy or my toddler that bit my wife and was bitten back by her?
a. puppy
b. toddler
c. all of the above
Without getting into too much detail, the correct answer is C. Let’s just say, there’s no longer any biting at our house.
8. Was it my puppy or my toddler that had bedtime stories read to them?
a. puppy
b. toddler
c. all of the above
The final answer on the quiz is…B. C’mon you didn’t really think we’d read to our dog, did you?
If you got a perfect score on the quiz, you likely live a life similar to mine, and for that I take pity on the chaos you endure on a daily basis.
-Pete
